By Maisha Mahbub
While preparing my presentation for Introduction to Racism for EAP, I realized something crucial was missing. I had to try to find out the different types of racism so that the presentation would flow smoothly.
Upon looking at the various kinds of racism I came across the term “Internal Racism”. This terminology really intrigued my curiosity and got me researching. I researched and researched until I diagnosed myself to have been growing up... facing Internal Racism. Even though I didn’t
know it, I was secretly discriminating against myself.
Growing up, between the ages of five to 10, I was ashamed and embarrassed of myself for not being born in Canada. Maybe it was my English, maybe it was my lifestyle, maybe it was the fact that Canadians didn’t know where Bangladesh was. However, I despised the fact that I was born in Bangladesh. I was manipulated into thinking that Canadian born were more superior than us immigrants. It got so bad to the point where I started to tell fibs to people, telling them I was born in Canada due to the inferior feeling.
I loathed when people asked me where I’m from or where I was born, making such a simple question my insecurity. I hated having to change my accent for people to understand where I was from. No, I am not from India. No, I am not from Pakistan. I am from BAY-N-GLA-DESH. I tried so hard to become and seem like I was born here and I am pure Canadian.
I didn’t stop to realize how hard my country fought for me to be able to speak Bangla. I did not stop to think just for one second of all those martyrs who sacrificed themselves and their families just for me to be able to say I am from Bangladesh. I didn’t realize.......I was facing..... internal racism.
Slowly to break the cycle I started to wear more cultural clothes and speak my language. I became the voice of others who were also facing internal racism. I started to narrate my stories to others, to let them know they were not alone. Many immigrants go through this, and the cycle needs to stop.
We are all unique due to our diverse backgrounds. We need to be proud and confident when talking about our cultures, as that is what makes us different. Racism can be in many forms, and I hope one day everyone can be confident and accepting of who they are and other people.
Change starts within ourselves.
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